Embracing the transformation that fire brings…..

Since the beginning of time, fire has always held a special fascination for humans and there is no dearth of examples where fire plays an integral part in human ceremonies that aim to mark the significance of a milestone events. Fire is a transformative element – it changes the very nature of everything it touches, irrespective of whether it exists in a controlled or an uncontrolled environment.

My own experience has felt in many ways like a spiritual baptism of fire – 18 months ago, I reached a point where I was given no choice but to learn how to relinquish the illusion of control and surrender my being to align with my higher consciousness……this, in itself, was a huge undertaking given my inherent ‘people-pleasing’ tendencies, combined with a hardwired swan-effect syndrome, nestled deep within my subconscious.

The catalyst was my 20-year marriage coming to an abrupt end in April 2023 – this was the spark that started the ‘fire’ causing me to lose lose whatever little confidence I had in my abilities whilst watching my ‘family and friends’ network collapse around me as I was, slowly but surely, shunned by my community. My two teenage children saw me crumble to the floor and stood rooted in horror as they watched their lives lose all sense of calm and stability resulting in self-preservation, understandably, kicking in as they shut me out of their lives. My day-job was put at risk and I had to use all my savings to finalise the money side of things to conclude my divorce. I was left standing alone all by myself literally burning every second of my existence in immense pain and sadness.

In this fire-cleansing process, I was stripped off every single label I had ever associated with and was forced to confront my true, raw, naked self, staring right back at me from the mirror of life. The reflection that looked back at me was heart-wrenching. I saw a little girl who stood small and defeated, weighed down by the heavy burdens of expectations. The light in her eyes had dimmed as she no longer remembered who she truly was; she painted a very poignant picture of heartbreak and loneliness. Her hair was matted and grimy; her heart, pitifully shielded by a tattered rag, had deep gashes of rejection criss-crossed everywhere. She believed she had categorically failed all the roles she had attempted to embrace – daughter, sister, granddaughter, wife, mum, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, niece, friend, colleague  -  and, in the bargain, had lost all sense of self and worth.

Notwithstanding, in order for me to truly learn the lesson of letting go and stepping into my light, the last remaining vestiges of patterns and beliefs that no longer served me needed to be fully purged – and for this, I had to be set on fire – there was no other way. I had to accept and understand that no one was going to come and save me; I was going to have to dig deep and reclaim my inner resources to propel me forward into living a life that was authentic and aligned with my higher consciousness.

Experiencing the heat, intensity and relentlessness of true transformation is not for the faint-hearted. There were times when the crippling pain & expansive loneliness was unbearable; and the thought of being reduced to ashes almost felt like a welcome relief to end the relentless suffering. Nevertheless, true to its nature, fire cleanses and forges a steel that can withstand more than what it took to create it.

Having lost everything that defined me; I was left to confront the reality of my true essence. Without the labels I had taken to hiding behind, I had to lean into the unknown and trust my intuition to help me take one step forward every day, honing and sharpening my gifts that would empower me to explore more of what I am really here to do.

So, here I am….still standing tall, a wee bit wiser than before, a tiny bit stronger than yesterday – looking forward to embrace whatever else life has in store for me. I am learning every day; I am humbled that every time I find the courage to show vulnerability, others step forward to show solidarity because they resonate with everything I’m going through at a basic level. In being vulnerable, I am finding my tribe and creating my village!

As humans, we are here to be of service to one another and through our gifts and abilities, we all have a part to play in lifting each other up to be part of the intricately woven fabric of human consciousness.

Stay blessed and know that you have a safe place in Alma Oasis should you ever need somewhere to rest.

Love, light & blessings,

Vivian Gloria Rose